xNitroglycerin

ravenclawssaywhat:

We’re not supposed to be friends, you and me. We’re meant to be enemies. Did you know that? 

THIS MOVIE. MADE ME HURT AND CRY.

(出典: r-a-i)

(出典: pixiv.net)

Hot girl problems

Hot girl problems

mom: you realize normal people don't have such strong feelings about the oxford comma
me: THE OXFORD COMMA IS IMPORTANT
mom: you realize this makes you a nerd
me:
mom:
me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush and barack obama
me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush, and barack obama
me: without the comma, you are implying that george bush and barack obama are strippers
mom:
me:
mom: this isn't normal

Tony Stark: Still, you were pretty spry, for an older fellow. What’s your thing? Pilates? Steve Rogers: What? Tony Stark: It’s like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle. (x)

Tony Stark: Still, you were pretty spry, for an older fellow. What’s your thing? Pilates?
Steve Rogers: What?
Tony Stark: It’s like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle. (x)


smi
smi

trentofsky:

there’s something really gay about two men having sex with each other

we're lazy here on tumblr.

press J: scroll down a post
press K: scroll up a post
press L: like a post
press ALT+REBLOG: reblog fast
press CTRL and the REBLOG button: open the post you want to reblog, in a new tab
press TAB: scroll to the top of your dashboard,

sea-dwellers:

flora-chan:

cryingvagina:

i am byesexual

everyone i love leaves me

That because you didn’t work hard enough to save the relationship, if you truely love them you would do everything with your heart to keep it alive. 

Love is like a flower, it grows by only with help of sunshine in your life and water of energy can keep it alive of the seed inside. 

it was a joke

Love is never a joke.

I think one of the best feelings in the world is when someone remembers something you said. Whether it was something from yesterday, a week ago, a month ago.. It’s just like, “Wow, you actually listen to me.”

(出典: now-this-is-living)

(出典: xbuildmedown)

downtothelastbullet:

greenet:

tikaka:

clockworksexual:

iwoulddeduceyoutwice:

sugarkitteh:

bigbangpunch:

BRITISH VERSION OF THIS:

1. BOIL THE KETTLE - IF YOU HAVE TO USE A STOVE OR MICROWAVE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE

2. USE ANY WATER IN EXISTENCE - FUCK FILTERING THAT SHIT YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE YOUR SHOW IS BACK ON IN 5 MINUTES PRESS A

3. THROW WHATEVER THE HELL TEABAG YOU HAVE IN THERE - FUCK LOOSE TEA THAT IS FOR WHEN YOU ORDER TEA OUTSIDE

4. USE YOUR STIRRING TEABAG METHOD OF CHOICE, ADD SUGAR/SWEETENER LIKE A BOSS OR NOT IF YOU ARE A HEALTHY BOSS

5. GRUMBLE LIKE A FISHERMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE KETTLE AREA TO GO TO THE FRIDGE TO GET MILK AND BACK TO IT AGAIN AFTER YOU ADD IT

6. RUN BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING, TAKE A COMFORT SIP AND THEN EITHER FINISH IT OR FORGET ABOUT IT AND MOAN ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU LET IT GO COLD

****

EDIT: IF YOU CAN’T SPOT IF NOT FROM THIS ALONE THEN THE NATURE OF MY TUMBLR THAT I’M NOT MAKING A DIG AT HER COMIC SIMPLY POINTING OUT HOW LAZY WE ARE OVER HERE WITH TEA THEN GET OFF THE INTERNET. THE COMIC COVERS ALL TEA OPTIONS. COME AT ME BRO.

THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION

JUST GET THE BLOODY BILLY ON THE FIRE AND THROW IN A FISTFUL OF TEA FOR EACH BUGGER AFTER THE WATER BOILS

TAKE OFF FIRE

WAIT UNTIL IT REACHES DESIRED STRENGTH

CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING A SPOON STOOD UPRIGHT IN IT IS IDEAL

WHACK BILLY TO ENCOURAGE SINKING OF TEA LEAVES

POUR IT OUT

ADD AS MUCH MILK AND SUGAR AS YOU LIKE OR NOT AT ALL VEGEMITE IS ACCEPTABLE

DRINK IT DOWN WHILE RIDING OFF INTO THE OUTBACK ON YOUR BIG RED KANGAROO ON A SADDLE MADE OF DROPBEAR PELTS, WITH YOUR TRUSTY BRUMBY PACKING ALONG YOUR SWAG AND A DINGO BY YOUR SIDE

CHEERS MATE

CANADIAN VERSION

WHAT IS ENGLAND DOING?

OK NOW COPY THAT SHIT AND JUST CHANGE A FEW THINGS

NO PUSSY REAL “TEAWARE”, WE HAVE NORMAL COFFEE MUGS FOR THAT SHIT.

USE WHATEVER APPLIANCE YOU WANT TO HEAT THE DAMN WATER, YEAH WE SIGNED OUR FUCKING FREEDOM. NO ONE SAID IT WAS MANDATORY FOR KETTLES!

SIT LIKE A CLASSY MAN/WOMAN AND WAIT FOR IT TO BOIL

EAT SOME BACON

THROW A TEABAG IN THERE, LOOSE TEA IS FOR MY MONARCHIST AUNT.

DUMP SO MUCH SUGAR IN IT THAT YOU GET DIABETES AND SO MUCH MILK THAT YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND MILK THE COW, BETSY.

TAKE A SIP.

SCALD YOURSELF AND ALMOST DROP MUG, SPILLING IT DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR BACK IN THE PROCESS.

REALIZE TEA ISN’T TOO MUCH OF YOUR THING AND GO BACK TO COFFEE.

AMERICAN VERSION

FIND A CUP(?) (ANY CLEAN, CUP-LIKE INSTRUMENT WILL WORK)

FILL IT WITH TAP WATER

ADD FIVE SPOONFULS OF INSTANT ICED TEA POWDER

STIR THAT SHIT SO HARD YOU SPILL SOME ON THE COUNTER, LET GO OF THE SPOON SO YOU CAN WATCH IT SPIN

DRINK IT AND CHOKE BECAUSE IT’S TOO SWEET

POUR SOME INTO THE SINK AND ADD WATER IN HOPES THAT IT WILL TASTE ACCEPTABLE

REPEAT UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT

ADD ICE CUBES AND A STRAW TO ENHANCE CLASSINESS

FINNISH VERSION


FUCK THE KETTLE, JUST TAKE THE PAIL FROM THE SAUNA

IF THE WATER ISN’T BOILING, YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG

TOSS THE BIRCH VIHTA IN THE WATER AND LET IT SEEP FOR A WHILE

GET A BOTTLE OF VODKA

DRINK THE VODKA

FORGET THE “TEA” UNTIL IT COOLS DOWN

RINSE YOUR NAKED BODY WITH THE BIRCH TEA

GO ROLL IN THE SNOW AND SCREAM FOR YOUR ANCIENT GODS

NORWEGIAN VERSION

BOIL WATER IN ELECTRIC KETTLE

TAKE OUT INSTANT COFFEE

DRINK COFFEE

…WHAT DO YOU MEAN “TEA”?

SOUTHERN VERSION

GET A POT AND PUT SOME WATER AND A BUNCH OF TEA BAGS IN THAT SONOFABITCH

BOIL THAT SHIT

PUT THAT SHIT IN A PITCHER

ADD SUGAR

KEEP ADDING SUGAR

NO, YOU’RE NOT DONE YET

WHEN THE SUGAR HAS REACHED ITS SATURATION POINT AND IS NO LONGER ACTUALLY DISSOLVING IN BOILING WATER THEN YOU’RE DONE

(i am not making this up i know people who make it that way)

FILL THE REST OF THAT SHIT UP WITH WATER AND PUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN THE ICEBOX

ENJOY THAT SHIT WITH A NICE TASTY PLATE OF DEEP-FRIED THINGS

#REAL AMERICAN VERSION: THROW TEA IN HARBOR.

(出典: areyoutryingtodeduceme)

mechinism:

brothasoul:

can we all just take a minute to imagine steve rogers’ face the first time he heard someone say “motherfucker” casually